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RECONCILIATION: YOU CAN’T GO BACK BUT YOU CAN TAKE THE REPEAT

13 Jan
angela at the piano

Four year old me at the piano

Everything either reconciles or it doesn’t reconcile. I’ve considered it a lot.
When you perform a piece of music there’s not much you can do about a wrong note once it’s been played. However, you do need to reconcile with yourself.
In a split second, you’ll either choose to get over it and continue, or allow yourself to be thrown into regret and self-doubt, which renders you helpless and defeated.
There are times when the music repeats. You get another chance. However, it is understood, that the repeat would contain at least a subtle difference. Maybe you will alter the dynamics, or bring out a different voice, add an embellishment, turn or trill.
In life you can’t go back. Just as a note is played right or wrong, you can’t go back to that exact moment in time to correct it. You can only move forward. You may receive an opportunity to repeat in a different moment and hopefully it will reflect an embellishment of grace and maturity.
I performed many pieces at the piano when I was young, devoid of sensitivity, with note and interpretive errors. Sometimes I revisit these pieces and terrible memories of blaring errors, mental glitches, humiliation and discouragement return.
I remind myself; I’m not obligated or destined to repeat the same mistakes. I am old enough, hopefully humble enough, to reconcile where there’s a repeat, accept when there is not, and move forward, more aware and caring as I live, love, and play piano.

Day 13 of 30 days/30 Blogs

14 Nov

I am very thankful for my life. I like my jobs (there is more than one) and most of them involve music, which means I don’t make a lot of money. But there’s no greater feeling for any teacher, than when a student turns on and ‘gets’ it. Or they really hear themselves for the first time, create something beautiful, and are pleased.
There’s always a challenge too. There’s always someone convinced they ‘can’t.’ They just can’t learn music, they just can’t play piano, they just can’t coordinate their hands, etc. etc.
I love to convince people they are mistaken when it comes to all their ‘I can’ts’
Maybe that’s why God chose to make learning a little more challenging to me…so that no one I teach would be able to use me as an excuse not to try. I’ve thought that about people often. Oh, everything comes easy to them. They barely have to try. They’re just a natural.
I guess all our little defects have a greater purpose than to simply annoy us.