If someone were to ask me when it was okay to give up, I’d be tempted to say, “Never.” There are enough times when I wonder if I should, but then I’d always think, “what if?”
More often than not, I wait until a door is practically nailed shut before I’ll say, “done.”
Except with sewing. There were many attempts on my part to learn. There were many who attempted to help. In the end, it was best for all concerned that I said “done.” There is no guilt and I’m relieved.
I was thinking about something more important like relationships. Sometimes relationships fall apart, things happen, people change.
I’m not good with this. Something inside me says it can be worked out, it can be fixed, time will heal. There are people from my childhood, my high school and college days that I remember just as they were and with memories just as fond. Maybe I over romanticize, maybe I too eagerly allow each person to be part of my heart. I don’t know how to be any different.
There are less important areas of life where I’m not willing to give up either. Piano is a big one. I take a long time to learn music and tend to choke when I have to perform. But I perform every year in the spring recital because I require my students to. I try to practice everyday as I did today and there’s always a little improvement. I’m certainly not getting any worse!
And then there’s writing. Who knows what will become of my YA novel. It’s been part of my life for a long time now. In a couple weeks, once my readers have finished compiling their comments and I do one last edit, I’ll send it to the editor for a third look.
To be honest, that’s why I’m doing this 30 days/ 30 blogs deal. It keeps me from thinking too much about it and gives me something creative to do while I wait. Maybe I’ll never give up on this project but I might have to lay it down.
And now for a word about exercise…I finally went to the gym tonight. I really don’t like to go. But I can’t give up. I might never be skinny again. (Truth be told, the last time I was skinny was when I was 4 years old.) But I’d like to be fit!
I whined and complained the whole way to the gym because my friend was running late from work and would have to meet me there. Lary practically had to push me out the door.
The gym is in the basement of the local high school. From 6-8 it’s just for adults 18+. It’s called the Mark Zagata Weight Room. I did alright tonight. Yes, I felt a certain amount of satisfaction that I haven’t given up the pursuit of being fit and healthy.
it was when I finished and stood by the pictures on the weight room wall that I thought once again about the concept of “Never give up.”
Mark Zagata was a young man that grew up in this community. He started work for our landscaping business when he was 15. He loved it. He loved football too. I think he was 17 when he lost a leg to bone cancer. But he got a ‘new’ leg and continued to work. He continued to play football too. I imagine it was difficult for any of his team mates to whine or complain or demand time to rest when Mark didn’t feel the need to. He didn’t quite make it to his 19th birthday, but he didn’t give up before then either.
I just noticed the time. I missed posting on Nov. 4th by around 40 minutes. That means it’s officially November 5, my birthday. No matter how long I get to live, maybe the fact that I keep going, keep trying, even if I’m not particularly great at what I do, will encourage someone else to keep going too.